Thirty-something.

At what point did someone decide that a person's 30s would be mysterious? I don't find myself at the point of saying "thirty-something" just yet, but feel it's inevitable.
Why are a person's 20s so specific? "Oh, you're 29?! That's the best age." Don't ever mention a specific 30s number above 30 though. Oh no, do that and you may as well request your death certificate right now.

People are so funny. I'm kind of over the idea of being in my 30s. Maybe when I'm "thirty-something" life wilel be different, but for now, yay. Life! Age is but a number and I feel so stupid for getting so worked up over turning 30. I'm going to rock my 30s so hard!

I've decided to rediscover myself. I've been 'Spawn's Mum' for so long that I cannot remember who I really am. Obviously I am Spawn's Mum, but I'm also me. I have my own personality, interests, hobbies, dislikes....
I don't think I ever truly knew who I was, to be honest. I always thought I was real, and didn't pretend to be someone I'm not. But looking back, I realise I kind of was. I conformed to what I thought those around me wanted. I suppressed aspects of who I am to suit the people around me. 

To be honest, I think somewhere along the way, that became the reason I lost myself. I developed so many "personalities" that I forgot who I really was. What my entire personality was like. What aspects of myself conflicted with other aspects to make me interesting. Why people loved me, and why people hated me. Why so many people envied me.
...envy. There's a feeling nobody has had towards me in a long time. Why would anyone envy a person who doesn't know who she is? I sure as hell wouldn't. But one day, they will. Because I know that deep down, I'm effing amazing.
And it's time it came to the surface! So to kick things off, I'm dying my hair a crazy, vibrant colour! A colour that will remind me that I really don't care what others think of me. That I'm not afraid to be myself. That I'm strong, brave and fierce. RAWR.

These have been the ramblings of a deranged mind. Thank you for reading.

Peace out.
- L. x

P.S. I apologise for any crazy typos. I got a new phone and it hasn't figured out how I type yet. It actually predicts text in a way in which a 2 year old would use it. Ridiculous.
As many of you know, I don't reread my posts, ever. Unless they're recipes, because I have to make sure those make sense. But seeing my inner thoughts on a screen for all to see? Well that makes me feel a little, dare I say, vulnerable. So I apologise for that. :)