When your child doesn't function in society like the average child, as a parent, you become wary of other parents. You don't want to get too close to these parents with their perfect children, lest they tell a story that shatters your spirit. You see, while Spawn may look like a 'normal' child, he is far from it. When he converses with you, it is clear that his speech is about as understandable as a 5 year old's. Whilst his letter formation is great, his actual writing is often barely legible. When he goes to group sports, he doesn't understand 'normal' social behaviour. He doesn't understand the concept of personal space, of boundaries, of reading a person to see if they want to play what you're playing. He just assumes everyone loves what he loves. If he finds something funny, everyone finds it funny. And it is utterly heartbreaking to watch.
Fortunately, he goes to a school full of (for the most part) lovely children. So he has friends. Kids who find him funny. Kids who love his stories. Kids who know how to turn him down without breaking his spirit. In saying that, any form of rejection can break his spirit. Sometimes, he will come to me after school and burst into tears. He remembered something that happened with a friend. Someone who thought what he wanted to do was stupid. Or maybe it was a child he doesn't like calling him stupid, for God knows why. Maybe it's because his speech isn't perfect. Maybe it's because his writing sucks. Maybe it's because his jokes are such 'dad jokes', that kids just don't want to tolerate them. Rude kids. Kids with no manners. Selfish kids who think themselves superior to everyone else.
Well, guess what, Spawn? You're going to be the greatest human in the world one day. Why? Because you have a heart. You show compassion and understanding, and you're not afraid to be yourself. So please, keep on being you. Because a world without your eye-rolling jokes isn't a world I want to be in. <3 Mummy. x
So today, I made a friend. A friend who understands the bullshit I go through. This parent gets the 'red monster' moments. The heartbreaking moments. The moments that fill you with so much pride, you think you might just burst. The moments that a 'normal' parent wouldn't understand, because what just happened wasn't a milestone at all for someone who hasn't struggled their whole life. I love understanding mum friends. I really need to put myself out there so I can make more of them. They make me feel like I'm not completely failing as a parent. Which is exactly how so many other parents make me feel, with their demeaning attitude.
That's my news for today. I'm enjoying the cruisy lifestyle at the moment, knowing that in 3.5 weeks, another year of hell commences. And this semester is INTENSE. Science units are so demanding!! 4-5 classes (totalling 4-7 hours!) a week just for one little chemistry unit! Ughhhh. I need to do more reading. And hope I got my preferences for my timetable. Come on, Deakin! Don't fail me now!
Peace out.
- L. x
