Perfectionism.

I loathe perfectionism.

This trimester of uni is grueling. The content is so dry, that after a conversation with one of my lecturers, I told myself I wouldn't focus on grades for these mundane units.
Who am I kidding?! This unscrupulous trait of mine is debilitating, the HDs often feel like my only success at the end of a productive, fruitful trimester. But even then, I feel like a failure.
Perfectionism is no blessing. Being a high achiever, loving success? That's a blessing. Perfectionism is nothing more than self-loathing, masquerading as a desire for success. It doesn't matter how many mentors praise your abilities and offer to assist you with getting a contract at the completion of your degree, you never feel good enough. I never feel good enough. This is especially horrendous when course material is so dry, no technique will help me absorb it. I'm doomed!

If im being honest, I would sink into a pit of hell were it not for Tyler. Despite his incessant chatter, myriad of appointments and extra-curricular activities, he keeps me sane. Keeps me from going days without sleep, showers and conversation. 🤢

Seriously, can I graduate already?!! University is destroying my soul. At least I can manage this disgraceful behaviour under normal life conditions. 😖🍫🍷🍸🍹

End rant, fuelled by the realisation that most of the elements in this article are my life.

- L. x