Goals and the f-word.

So this time of year often yields comments like, "what are your plans? Where do you think you'll be this time next year?" Newsflash, I don't have 2020 vision! My glasses are for function, not form. ;)

That said, whilst thinking about where I will be this time next year terrifies me, thinking ahead is exciting! This year is my last year of uni, thank gosh. Hopefully I get a job at the end of this, the optimist in me wants to reassure myself, but the realist knows the facts. They aren't in my favour! I will remain confident and hopeful, and pray I get a job. My five year plan depends on my having a full-time job in the not-too distant future.

Speaking of five year plans, mine is exciting! I always said Spawn and I will have conquered each state and territory in Australia by the time he's 10 and the only state we haven't been to is Tasmania. We are hoping to do that next Summer, so pray for my savings! There are also other goals, including relocating out of Geelong (again), hoping Spawn gets his letter from Hogwarts next year, and then heading overseas! I really want to take Spawn to London for his 11th birthday, Harry Potter fans will understand why. Then we would duck over to Iceland, because that country is truly amazing and I need my fix. 😍 I'm also hoping to have a permanent contract in a school by 2024, so I can commence postgrad studies in 2025. Yes, I'm a sucker for punishment! Lord knows why I'm already planning thesis life, when I haven't even finished undergraduate studies. Wait, I know. Its because I'm crazy.

So contradictory, to be afraid of the next twelve months, yet excited for the next five years! Uni life has that affect, I suppose. I'm so comfortable being a student, I've been once for six of the past seven years. It's going to be a shock returning to full-time employment, yet I am so ready for it! My brain hurts. I'm sick of sitting in lectures, over reading dry material, done with academic writing. I neeeeeeed the mundane life associated with working, and I need it now!

So yeah, that's me. Planning years of travel, even though my bank account is down to cents.

Peace out.

- L. x

One time, at band camp...

One day I realised it was week 10, in an 11 week trimester, and that I only have three trimesters until I graduate.
I pooped my pants a little bit.

The idea of being a mum AND a graduate teacher is actually terrifying. What if I don't get a contract? What if I suck and every prin in the state laughs at my resume? WHAT IF I HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN IN FOURTH YEAR?!!!!

Okay, so that's real terror. I've lost my appetite, that's how nervous I am. Yet it's still 18 months away! I need help. From professionals. With straight jackets. Why are straight jackets called straight jackets, anyway? They don't even keep you straight, they make you permanently hug yourself. Well, that's what they do in movies!

Also, one day I'm going to leave my phone's corrections in place and see what crazy messages it thinks I want to convey.

Yeah, I'm scattered today. Hello fifty million things on my mind, and only one brain to process it all! I need coffee.

Time to go feed the Spawn. Been a bad mum of late. Baaaaaad mum. She's a, baaaaaaaad mum.

Told you, utterly bonkers!

L. x

Single parent, uni student, special needs child... I'm tired of labels.

I have noticed something these past couple of months. Older people seem to thoroughly enjoy labeling every aspect of their lives. Especially older people at university.
Being a mature student, I tended to gravitate toward a couple of older students, which is to be expected. I probably would have dropped out of uni if I'd been surrounded entirely by kids fresh out of high school. They can be a little .......distracting.
One thing I was not expecting, was to be more irritated by older students than younger students! I know mature students tend to get a bit of a reputation from the younger kids, but I thought it was just kids being, well, kids. I didn't put a lot of credibility into it. Until I started university, this time around. Sure, older students tend to be more open to expressing themselves during tutorials, etc., but that is something that comes with age, and isn't necessarily a bad thing. Well, I don't think it is. I was prone to voicing my thoughts during many tutorials, although I did often wait to see if anyone else was going to say something before I opened my mouth. I even encouraged younger students, on more than one occasion! However, what I found, that may tie in with this observation, along with the 'reputation' of mature age students, is that older people go on tangents! They take things off topic, and then go on and on AND ON about it, thus wasting perfectly good tutorial time!! This time is precious, and I seriously do not appreciate it being wasted by pretentious older people who think they are better than everyone else!

The thing that made this worse was that I apparently don't look even remotely close to my age. As such, I had more than one older student talk down to me, like I was a piece of unwanted gum on the bottom of her shoe. EXCUSE ME, LADY. Why are you better than me, or any other student at this university? We all went through the same application process, have to endure the same grueling readings and assignments, and all qualify with the same degree - if you happen to be studying the same course, anyway. Like seriously, you're too old to be this immature. Stop it now, before you further ruin the reputation of mature age students worldwide.
And to the younger university students: I apologise. I swear, we are not all that bad! Some of us are helpful, friendly, and maybe even awesome individuals. We just have the added advantage of living away from home, having a fridge full of food, and most of us have money in the bank. That doesn't mean you can monopolise us, but it also doesn't mean we cannot be friends with each other. Who knows? We may come in handy one day. ;)

Okay, that will do. This is so much longer, and rantier, than I expected it to be, and I digressed more than a little! :P

Peace out.

- L. x