So, ever since the diagnosis process began, I have been confronted with more choices than I thought possible. Because apparently, parenting a 'normal' child (I use the term loosely) isn't already hard enough. Now I need to decide which OT to see, which social programs to enrol Spawn into, which path to take in regard to his speech problems, what diet to put him on, how to manage meltdowns in a way that won't send him into sensory overload, and my favourite: whether or not to go to the crowded supermarket, or have cereal with water in the morning???
Ahh, life. You never fail to disappoint, that's for sure! But just once, could you find it in your heart to send me on an easy path??? Do you not think I've made enough tough choices yet? How much more does one person have to endure, before they can just settle down and be happy??? CAN a person ever settle down and be happy? Does a person ever reach the limit of shit they're going to be dealt??
A religious person would say, "God never gives you more than He thinks you can handle". That's bollocks. A person can handle most things, but not because they want to; because there is no alternative. Nobody wants to watch someone they love die of cancer. Nobody wants to watch their child grow up to be "different". Everybody wants the best for everyone they love. It's human nature to want this. So why does "He" think certain people deserve to experience such brutality? Hmmmm??? God sucks. You hear that God??? YOU SUCK.
Pfft, God. What gives one being the right to make choices for everyone???? Some say that each individual is responsible for the paths we take in life. I used to think this, but now I genuinely believe we are all puppets, and that God is a sinister son-of-a-*ahem*, sitting up there laughing at the puppet show on display before him.
Yeah, I'm a little angry today.
Peace out.
- L. x
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