School funding is a double-edged sword.

In Spawn's first year of school, we applied for funding, due to his 'severe behaviour'. I know that in different states and countries, the process is different, but I'm sure there is one consistent aspect across the board: it's hard. Emotionally, having to constantly discuss and read about how terribly behaved your child can be, among other flaws, is heartbreaking. It has been two years since I discovered Spawn's application for funding was granted, after six months of hell.

The process for funding took twice as long as Spawn's ASD diagnosis, which was conducted immediately prior to the funding application began. I commend the school for being on the ball and getting things rolling as soon as they could, but as a parent, this double whammy broke me in ways that I don't think I will ever recover from. I ended 2015 with symptoms much like those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Legit. I was treated as if I had PTSD, and there was only one small aspect of my sanity that gave my psych pause to officially diagnose. Two years on, I am doing better, but the scars are still there. They will always be there. 2015 can kiss my arse, even now, in 2018.

Now that a little back story has been established, let me get to the heart of this rant/word vomit/expelling of bad juju. I am grateful for the school working tirelessly to get Spawn funding. I am grateful to the department of education for seeing Spawn's need for funding and actually approving the application: this is not something the DoE does lightly, after all. For this reason, I know that many families miss out on this funding, which impacts on the education of so many students. It's hard. There are so many cracks. For example, Spawn has ASD, but we did not apply on the grounds of his ASD diagnosis, for we would have been rejected. The criterion are so stringent, it's actually ridiculous! We applied under severe behaviour, as Spawn's behaviour was so severe during that first year of school that he only attended school for a couple of full days a week, with the remaining being half days. He had drawn blood from his teacher, caused his class to be evacuated, and literally been dragged from school over the shoulder of the vice-principal. OMG, I'm getting a little emotional just THINKING about that year. Even now, whenever the school calls me, my first thought is, "oh no, what has he done now?!" Fortunately, the school is quick to let me know if it isn't bad news, having known how bad things once were. I was on a first name basis with the school admin a lot quicker than most.

Due to the hard work, absolute terror and horrific reports I had to read, I get a little funny about Spawn's school funding. As a pre-service teacher, I understand how having a student with funding in the class can benefit many, but as a parent, I don't want my child to miss out because of others. Having other unfunded students piggybacking off of Spawn's funding is all well and good, but where do you draw the line?! At what point do you, as a parent, step in and be like, "ENOUGH. How many complex students do you want to piggyback off of my child's funding?! Don't you think this might be detrimental to MY son's education?!" As I have mentioned, I worked hard for that. I endured things no parent/carer should have to endure, all in the hopes it would provide my child with better opportunities moving forward. It has, by the way. Education support staff are amazing. Spawn had this one lady supporting him for nearly two years and she was amazing. She saw him that first year, and was with him as he changed for the better. Spawn has come so far that it's mindblowing, but does that mean that the support worker working with him this year will be asked to spend more time with other students? Sure these students need help, otherwise they wouldn't be getting it. But will this have a negative impact on Spawn? His behaviour last year went downhill and part of me wonders if that is because so many students with additional needs were lugged into his class in order to piggyback off of Spawn's funding. Just because Spawn has learned to mimic more appropriate classroom behaviours, does not mean he does not need the funding. For Spawn, working to behave appropriately is a task that requires constant focus, as his brain is always working so fast, the result of both his ADHD and giftedness. I feel that if Spawn is neglected, for even a little while, it will take twice as long to rebuild those appropriate mindsets for the classroom. Perhaps Spawn will think it normal that he adapt for awhile, then lapse back into his old way of behaving as soon as the teacher isn't looking (so to speak). This actually terrifies me, on a level I am not sure I'm ready to comprehend. I considered changing schools last year; seriously considered it. I thought it might be better to send Spawn to a school more understanding of funding and special needs children. However, Spawn loves his school, so we are giving it this year to see how things go. I have spoken to a few schools and know our options, but hopefully I don't need to go down this path. For the most part, I do like our school's community. It's a great little school most of the time. :)

So this is the vicious cycle of school funding. The department of education really needs to get their act together and figure out a way to adequately fund all students who need assistance. In doing so, students who DO get funding will not be forced to miss out due to teachers and schools trying to service the needs of many with funding meant to service one.
Do not even get me started on the fact that parents have no say in how a school spends funding they receive for students. I don't know if this isn't a common thing, but where I live, it's how it works and I think it sucks; as both a parent AND a pre-service teacher.

On the topic of pre-service teaching, I'm doing my next placement in February; two weeks after school starts back. At a school with only 100 students. This will be interesting! ;)

If you got this far, thanks for reading. Feel free to share advice and tips for dealing with this: I welcome all advice! :)

- L. x

Autism Awareness Month.

As some of you may know, Spawn is currently undergoing an ASD diagnosis. I'm not kidding when I say it is long, expensive, exhausting and scary. But you know what I've learned this year? It's okay to fear the unknown. There is so much out there that none of us know (including what actually causes ASD!?), yet people can become so accustomed to their own little bubble of safety, that they never expect to have to deal with something as scary as ASD.
I have to admit, the first time I heard the word 'autism' in relation to my son, I almost burst into tears. I see autistic kids as being those super intelligent children who cannot talk, never show emotion, and live extraordinary lives that are anything but normal. All I wanted (and I'm assuming most parents would feel the same way) was for my child to grow up having lots of friends, confidence, and maybe some skills in the athletic world. Instead, I'm learning that Spawn has sensory processing issues, which explains some of his behaviour and his incessant need to touch myself (and others) to the point where it gets annoying. Which often results in guilt. Why is my son touching me annoying?? I should welcome his touch, right??! WRONG. You don't need to have sensory processing issues to become overwhelmed by constant touching. It's like having a stage five cling-on partner - ain't nobody got time for that!
So don't feel bad if your child is too touchy. You don't have to feel guilty because some parents wished their child would touch them at all. Everybody is experiencing different things, and just because one person's problems are not as bad as another persons does not make them irrelevant. It just means that some people are at a point in their life where having the wrong shade of pink nail polish on their toes is a total disaster, while others are rocking in a corner wondering if it's all their fault that their child is 'different'.
However, a little consideration does go a long way! I recommend using the filter between your brain and mouth whenever you're in a social setting, purely to avoid any potential awkwardness. :)

So anyway, I digress (a little). April is Autism Awareness Month, and the month kicks off with a 'wear blue on April 2' theme, in order to help spread awareness.
Autism is more than just the a-typical "autism" that most people grew up understanding. As of 2013, Autism - or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) as it's now known - now encompasses all disorders on the spectrum, including the high-functioning Asperger Syndrome.

Many people comment on how children don't look like they have autism. ASD is not a deformity that leaves a person with visual anomalies. ASD makes a person special. Unique - more-so than others. ASD means that a child can have difficulty handling normal social situations, such as a trip to the supermarket, a school assembly, or understanding a person's boundaries. ASD means a person sees the world a little differently than us 'normal' folk, but that is in no way a bad thing. Can you imagine how amazing it could be to see the world in more than just black and white? To see yellow and blue and green and all the other colours of the spectrum??? I truly believe that 'normal' people are the ones who should be looked at with pity.

So the next time somebody tells you that their child has ASD, do yourself a favour; don't look at them with pity, or move away thinking they're contagious. Stop and have a conversation with them, if they're able. It could be one of the most enlightening conversations of your life. :)

If you're curious to read more about Autism Spectrum Disorder, there is plenty of information available, some of which can be found:
here
and here
and even here.

And if you're curious about the ASD diagnosis process, some information relating to how it's done in Australia can be found here. If you think someone you know may have ASD, the diagnosis process can be long and confusing, so don't be afraid to ask your GP questions, or go see a paediatrition/psychologist.

Peace out.

- L. x

Chasing waves at Bells Beach!