Big, Bad, Ranty Rant.

It's that time.
TL;DR: my life is shit and I'm just going to complain about my first world problems for a bit.

Have you ever had one of those days that just brought everything together? Like, one thing happens, and then another thing happens, and before you know it, your whole life just seems like one big pot of rotten doggy-doo? 

I'm having one of those days. It started off okay. I did school drop-off, and even got a great park! Then, I went to the library to pickup the book that they told me was waiting for me......except it wasn't. Waiting for me, that is. Whatever. No biggy. I'm currently reading two books anyway! (The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, and The Longest Ride by Nicholas Spark; in case you were wondering)
Get in my car to come home and realise I forgot to put petrol in my car last night. Then remember I left my purse on the bench. (Lucky that book wasn't ready - I wouldn't have been able to borrow it anyway!) This later turns into a hilariously depressing issue.
Get home and binge watch some Pretty Little Liar... I'm now up to s5e18. WOO! Had some funny chats on fb, a great phone call from a friend.... The kind of day that makes up for the barely registered crap of the morning. 

Then it goes downhill... I get a phone call from someone close to me. Basically, they won't be around for my birthday this year. Granted, my birthday isn't until September, but that's beside the point! This is a big year!! I'll be 21!!!! (with a *cough* few years experience) Whatever. That hurt, but not a lot.
Next up: a phone call from the occupational therapist saying there's been a cancellation and they can see Spawn on Monday. GREAT!! We're on a care plan to help with this whole potential ASD diagnosis process, so I'm glad to be seeing her earlier. Spawn really needs help getting a grip (literally) at school. Then I find out it's going to set me back over $200. YAY. Have I mentioned I'm a single mum? Most of you probably know that, but figured I should put it out there. Bring on the pity party.......or not.
So this $220, plus the speech therapist fees (no idea how much she's charging - less than the OT I assume), plus my own medical expenses.... Can you see where I'm heading???
TODAY SUCKS.

So then I go to pick up Spawn. Get to the roundabout... Wait for incompetent morons to navigate the roundabout.... Car stalls. WHAT THE FRUITCAKE?! I never stall!!! I'm a perfectly competent manual driver!!! Realise car is out of petrol. Servo is 200m from the roundabout.... Am fortunate enough to live in a nice enough neighbourhood, so a local tradie helps me get to the servo. Yay tradies! :)

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is. Especially when I'm battling depression and trying to come to terms with the possibility of my son receiving a medical label in the near future. It's just hard, ya know?? 

I want a job. I want money. I want to live in a better house, that has proper heating and cooling. I want to be rid of this depression. I want to be healthy. I want to be stress-free. I don't want to be so isolated. I want to stay in this great community I'm in, but also want to move closer to friends and happiness.
I just want to be happy. Why is happiness so hard to achieve?? It's the one thing every person is born with, yet have that happiness leave you and it's mission: impossible, to get it back. 
 
Peace out.

- L. x

Reminiscing.

So way back when (think five years ago), I used to blog. My posts were similar to the ones you read today, in that I was a crazy lady back then too. Except I was also sleep deprived and dealing with the perks of being mother to a (not-so) little baby. Nawwwwwww.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my first post from my old blog...... I've grown up a lot these past five years, haha. :)

I wasn't always this way. Once upon a time I was about as normal as normal gets. Happy, carefree, impulsive..... Not sure what happened!? ...oh, that's right. A living being decided to grow inside of me and not only steal my heart, but also my sanity.
No wait, that's a lie. I've never been normal. I've never cared what anyone thought... Always spoke my mind, and did whatever I pleased. I'm the sort of special you only read about. The infamous "window licker" variety. Rare species we are. ....Rare, yet totally awesome!
So I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here!? Well, I have all this *stuff* running through my head! All day, every day, it's there...Sending my brain into overdrive, and resulting in the CRAZY. So I decided (after severe peer pressure!) to start a blog. Never done this before.... Slightly disturbed. Like the turd my son did this morning.... I wont gross you out with details, but it was badddddddd!
So anyway, the moral of my blog? Oh, there is none. I just wanted to waste your time! :)
Up and coming blogs may include.....
Moving across the country.
Christmas chaos.
Smelly poo's.
Cleaning.
Rants.
And other hilarious bullsh*t.

You may not know this, but I moved across the country shortly after writing that post. With my lovely one year old and not much else. The similarities between then and now are a little crazy. Which is fitting, considering my crazy theme!
Then: single mum, man-hater, battling postnatal depression, stress relating to the impending move, adjusting to life with a walker...
Now: single mum, man-hater, overcoming depression, job hunting stress, trying to decide whether to move or stay where I am, adjusting to life with a (somewhat) 'diagnosed' boy....

No wonder I'm crazy!! I need to stop putting myself in situations that cause so much stress! And maybe go get my hair dyed. My greys are showing.

Peace out.

- L. x

Job Interview.

Oh, yay. I do love me a good job interview!

But seriously, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to shine brighter than the sun come interview day??? My interview is tomorrow, so I still have a little time before the nerves kick in: this will more than likely occur at midnight tonight, for optimum effect.

I'm awesome. I graduated with a GPA of 3.3. Sure, that's not the greatest, but when you take into consideration that half of my first semester was spent battling glandular fever, thus giving me a GPA of 2.2 for that year.... I did GOOD. My transcript is more HD than anything else, I have a photographic memory, I'm reliable, hardworking and optimistic... I'm also a single mum, I live an hour train ride away, I'm frumpy and in desperate need of an eyebrow wax. But still, I'm amazing! I just need to remind myself of this.

Say it with me, crazies: I. AM. AMAZING! I. AM. A. WARRIOR! I. CAN. KICK. BUTT!

Meh. In less amusing news, I've spent half the weekend preparing for this interview, whilst the other half has been spent researching Aspergers. Have I mentioned I love researching things? Because I do. Just not medical things, apparently. So confusing. My brain can't make heads or tails of anything that I'm trying to retain, thus resulting in an entire waste of a weekend.
*sigh*

Life is great. I have a house, I have food, I have my health (to an extent - let us not go there!), and I actually manage to obtain interviews at prestigious law firms. More than I can say for many, I suppose.
(this was more for me than you.)

Peace out.

- L. x

Age Discrimination.

Yes, ladies and gents, I am about to vent about age discrimination in the twenty-first century.

You would think that applying for work in the legal field would mean there is less discrimination, as they know these laws are enforced. WRONG. I am quickly discovering that the legal industry is one of the worst when it comes to discrimination, as they know HOW to evade the law. This realisation is slowly shattering my faith in humanity; or at least my faith in Australia's legal profession.

Nevermind the other aspects of myself that I could be discriminated against - namely the fact that I am female, or that I am a parent (and a single parent at that!). Oh no, let us focus on this one aspect, as it is the one that is hard to hide from potential employers. YES, I did just say "hide from potential employers", because let's face it, I have to hide the fact that I am doing an amazing job raising Spawn on my own. Lest nobody hire me because I spend my 'free time' raising a human being.

I digress. The relevant subsections of s.3 of the Age Discrimination Act 2004 (Cth)* state the following:
The objects of this Act are:

(a)  to eliminate, as far as possible, discrimination against persons on the ground of age in the areas of work, education, access to premises, the provision of goods, services and facilities, accommodation, the disposal of land, the administration of Commonwealth laws and programs and requests for information; and

(d)  to promote recognition and acceptance within the community of the principle that people of all ages have the same fundamental rights; and

(e)  to respond to demographic change by:

   (i)  removing barriers to older people participating in society, particularly in the workforce; and

   (ii) changing negative stereotypes about older people;

Bearing in mind the international commitment to eliminate age discrimination reflected in the Political Declaration adopted in Madrid, Spain on 12 April 2002 by the Second World Assembly on Ageing.

And I KNOW this is happening to me. I know, because I was told that I would more than likely be unsuccessful at one particular interview, once she discovered what year I finished high school. Like, I knew she was fishing for my age without coming out and asking me directly how old I am, because my date of birth is irrelevant, but I honestly was not expecting to have that response straight to my face. It angered me so badly. Like, you cannot even begin to fathom the anger that flowed through my veins as I watched the expression on her face transform from pleasant to 'I need to hurry up and get this lady out of my office - a 29 year old trying to start a new career path is a waste of my time'. That is the EXACT look that came upon her face. Disgusting. I did think of later sending her an email quoting the Act, but thought better of it. I'm better than her - I'm better than all of those stinking discriminating bastards.

And that, people, is how you own the shit out of your circumstances. You OWN your flaws right alongside your strengths. Sure, I'm turning 30 this year. But I also won't be running off to take maternity leave in a couple of years. I won't be changing career paths, because this will be my career until I retire. I won't react childishly to certain things, because I've lived longer than some fresh out of school kid. I will handle pressure and bad days better than a teenager, because I put things into perspective and know that it's easier to just GET. IT. DONE. But whatever, their loss. Someone will hire me. And they won't regret it, because I am amazing, and I refuse to let this discriminative bullshit get me down. I will one day look down at those pathetic people and smile - smile because I won.

Peace out.

- L. x

**The Act can be found here.

Ooooh, burrrn.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Have to blog this while it's fresh.

You know what I hate?! Being one of those people who HAS to have dinner on the table at 17:30.
Why?? Because it means I can get phone calls regarding jobs I've applied for (and other useless calls) while I'm sitting down to eat.
Case in point: I just sat down to enjoy my tofu stir-fry. It smells so good that I practically started INHALING it the second my butt hit the chair. I was just putting a piece of almost raw (the best way to eat it!) broccoli into my mouth, when my phone rang. I recognised the number as being that of "X", so quickly chewed and swallowed. By the time the broccoli was traveling down my throat, I had missed X's call. Ugh. No problem! *calls back* VOICEMAIL. Leave brief 'phone tag' message, then resume eating, thinking I probably won't hear back until tomorrow..... A few minutes later, I had JUST put piece of broccoli in mouth and my phone rings again! Bugger this; I'm so not playing phone tag all evening! So I swallow the exceptionally large piece of broccoli WHOLE. Gotta love not having a gag reflex. ;)
Exchange pleasantries with X. Discover this call is basically a rejection call. "The other candidate we're going to interview has a fraction more experience than you, which is why we've decided to interview her over you. However, should we decide not to go with this candidate, we will be in touch."
Okay, that's fine. I get that - I know I'm super green with my freshly completed education and lack of workplace experience.......BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THIS NOW?! Why not just call me tomorrow and reject me/ask for an interview????? Some people make NO SENSE AT ALL.
And now I'm sitting here with a piece of broccoli chilling uncomfortably at the entrance to my stomach, all thanks to this 'maybe' phone call.

....I need an alternate ending for when I'm feeling anything but "peaceful".

- L. x

Stupid Feelings & Emotions.

So I had three job interviews on Tuesday... This was a super fun experience! ..err.

Anyway, one of the interviews turned out to be for a position I didn't really want, but as I can't afford to be picky, I went into the interview and gave it my best shot.
Apparently I NAILED the interview! Like, the guy would hire me as he could see me being a long-term employee at the firm. However between myself and the other girl he interviewed, he managed to decide to go down the traineeship path with the position I interviewed for, which obviously takes me (and the other girl) out of the running.

Has anyone ever experienced this bittersweet moment?? I'm so proud that my interview skills are improving significantly (and I seriously thought I did so bad in this interview - it was the last one of the day and I was super frazzled lol!) and that I was able to help the firm out, however I'm simultaneously excited AND bummed that I didn't get the job. :/

Ugh, feelings and emotions suck. o.O

This Friday afternoon ramble was proudly brought to you by Cadbury Chocolate, PMS, and silly Melbourne weather.

Peace out.

- L.