Hello, Sanity?

Dear Blog World

It has been eight days since I last blogged, and three days since Spawn started his first school holidays. 

Three whole days. Well, technically one, seeing as weekends apparently do not count.
ONE WHOLE DAY. And already I may be slightly crazy. He's been great. TOO great. You know when there's a big storm coming, and right before that storm, there's this eery sense of calmness about the world?? I feel like my life is in that stage, and it's FREAKING ME OUT.

It's been fun though. We went to Healesville Sanctuary yesterday. Was a great day for it, and a ridiculously long drive, throughout which I was able to reminisce about the days when I would drive out that way at least once a week..... How on earth did I afford the petrol back then?!! Crazy.

So anyway, we went to Healesville. Great place, by the way. Definitely recommend if you're ever in the area. Or the state. Or the country, depending on where you're reading this from. They have this damper making station. Oh, my god. Do you remember making damper during school camps, back in the day? (well, for me it was back in the day. I'm such a fossil, lol!) They did it differently at Healesville. There were big chunks of lemon myrtle in the dough. Can I just say, my tastebuds are practically orgasming just thinking about it!!! Who would have thought that merely mixing flour, water and lemon myrtle together could bring such a strong reaction!!? Ughhhhhhhhh. Give me a minute...

So anyway, I left Healesville smelling like I'd spent the weekend camping. Not necessarily a bad thing: I do enjoy that smoky hair smell.... Until I walk into my clean house and discover how overpowering the smell of smoke can be, when it's in every crevice of my body/clothing!! Jeepers!

Now I want to go camping. I should go camping!!! Spawn needs to go camping!! He wants to be a bug cowboy, after all. Shame this little bug cowboy is terrified of flies and ants. LOL. And wasps too, apparently.

OH, right! A friendly warning: Melbourne Zoo has a crazy amount of pigeons. Typical Melbourne thing.
Werribee Zoo is full of flies. Well, it is open range and full of African animals who do big poos...
However, Healesville Sanctuary is full of wasps. Yes, WASPS. What even?!!! They're perfectly harmless, yet annoying as hell. If you have food in your mouth, they will TRY TO GET INTO YOUR MOUTH. Hilarious.

That's me done, for now. I will no doubt return in a few days, once the storm has hit.

Peace out.

- L. x

baby emus!!!! <3

Lunchbox Inspiration.

Every day, Spawn takes lunches to school that not only meet our needs (no additives, refined sugar, minimal gluten) but also the schools needs (no eggs, fish, kiwi, nuts). Being a single mum, I cannot afford to buy expensive pre-packaged food that meets our requirements - and finding such items is almost impossible anyway - so I make it all myself. Don't get me wrong: sometimes Spawn's lunch consists of nothing more than a carrot, a couple of mushrooms, a piece of fruit, and rice crackers with vegemite.... But most days I'm able to pull some stuff out of the freezer and give him an awesome lunch! It all comes down to how great your time management skills are, and how organised you can be.

I bet you're wondering what, exactly, does Spawn eat every day??? I'm blessed with a child who loves to eat healthy and knows that "too much sugar makes me silly, mummy!" He loves raw vegetables, which makes my life easier, so I just prep a heap of stuff once a week and pack his lunchbox the night before with delicious, healthy, homemade goodies from the freezer (or fridge, depending).

I see so many mothers complaining about being time poor, but it's really not that difficult - I dedicate an hour or two most weekends to meal prep, and then spend five minutes (max) each night packing Spawn's lunch.

Personally, I believe it to be worth it. Not cheating and giving Spawn packaged stuff (or boring sandwiches) means he is happier, calmer and more satisfied, as he loves eating his delicious lunches! Given his behavioural issues, I'm all for anything that helps keep him from having a full-blown meltdown!

So here we go. Below are some yumbox examples, and I've mentioned the things I make myself: some of these recipes can be found on my blog. We also use a 'regular' lunchbox when I'm too lazy to do the dishes, and Spawn enjoys rummaging for the good stuff on those days. ;)

Peace out. 

- L. x

Grilled chicken, anti-LCM..

Chicken Sausage rolls, homemade tzatziki..

Pizza scrolls (gluten free), muesli bar..

Rice paper rolls, dried fruit muesli bar..

Chicken pasta, hummus, banana & fig cookie..

Big, Bad, Ranty Rant.

It's that time.
TL;DR: my life is shit and I'm just going to complain about my first world problems for a bit.

Have you ever had one of those days that just brought everything together? Like, one thing happens, and then another thing happens, and before you know it, your whole life just seems like one big pot of rotten doggy-doo? 

I'm having one of those days. It started off okay. I did school drop-off, and even got a great park! Then, I went to the library to pickup the book that they told me was waiting for me......except it wasn't. Waiting for me, that is. Whatever. No biggy. I'm currently reading two books anyway! (The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, and The Longest Ride by Nicholas Spark; in case you were wondering)
Get in my car to come home and realise I forgot to put petrol in my car last night. Then remember I left my purse on the bench. (Lucky that book wasn't ready - I wouldn't have been able to borrow it anyway!) This later turns into a hilariously depressing issue.
Get home and binge watch some Pretty Little Liar... I'm now up to s5e18. WOO! Had some funny chats on fb, a great phone call from a friend.... The kind of day that makes up for the barely registered crap of the morning. 

Then it goes downhill... I get a phone call from someone close to me. Basically, they won't be around for my birthday this year. Granted, my birthday isn't until September, but that's beside the point! This is a big year!! I'll be 21!!!! (with a *cough* few years experience) Whatever. That hurt, but not a lot.
Next up: a phone call from the occupational therapist saying there's been a cancellation and they can see Spawn on Monday. GREAT!! We're on a care plan to help with this whole potential ASD diagnosis process, so I'm glad to be seeing her earlier. Spawn really needs help getting a grip (literally) at school. Then I find out it's going to set me back over $200. YAY. Have I mentioned I'm a single mum? Most of you probably know that, but figured I should put it out there. Bring on the pity party.......or not.
So this $220, plus the speech therapist fees (no idea how much she's charging - less than the OT I assume), plus my own medical expenses.... Can you see where I'm heading???
TODAY SUCKS.

So then I go to pick up Spawn. Get to the roundabout... Wait for incompetent morons to navigate the roundabout.... Car stalls. WHAT THE FRUITCAKE?! I never stall!!! I'm a perfectly competent manual driver!!! Realise car is out of petrol. Servo is 200m from the roundabout.... Am fortunate enough to live in a nice enough neighbourhood, so a local tradie helps me get to the servo. Yay tradies! :)

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is. Especially when I'm battling depression and trying to come to terms with the possibility of my son receiving a medical label in the near future. It's just hard, ya know?? 

I want a job. I want money. I want to live in a better house, that has proper heating and cooling. I want to be rid of this depression. I want to be healthy. I want to be stress-free. I don't want to be so isolated. I want to stay in this great community I'm in, but also want to move closer to friends and happiness.
I just want to be happy. Why is happiness so hard to achieve?? It's the one thing every person is born with, yet have that happiness leave you and it's mission: impossible, to get it back. 
 
Peace out.

- L. x

Reminiscing.

So way back when (think five years ago), I used to blog. My posts were similar to the ones you read today, in that I was a crazy lady back then too. Except I was also sleep deprived and dealing with the perks of being mother to a (not-so) little baby. Nawwwwwww.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my first post from my old blog...... I've grown up a lot these past five years, haha. :)

I wasn't always this way. Once upon a time I was about as normal as normal gets. Happy, carefree, impulsive..... Not sure what happened!? ...oh, that's right. A living being decided to grow inside of me and not only steal my heart, but also my sanity.
No wait, that's a lie. I've never been normal. I've never cared what anyone thought... Always spoke my mind, and did whatever I pleased. I'm the sort of special you only read about. The infamous "window licker" variety. Rare species we are. ....Rare, yet totally awesome!
So I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here!? Well, I have all this *stuff* running through my head! All day, every day, it's there...Sending my brain into overdrive, and resulting in the CRAZY. So I decided (after severe peer pressure!) to start a blog. Never done this before.... Slightly disturbed. Like the turd my son did this morning.... I wont gross you out with details, but it was badddddddd!
So anyway, the moral of my blog? Oh, there is none. I just wanted to waste your time! :)
Up and coming blogs may include.....
Moving across the country.
Christmas chaos.
Smelly poo's.
Cleaning.
Rants.
And other hilarious bullsh*t.

You may not know this, but I moved across the country shortly after writing that post. With my lovely one year old and not much else. The similarities between then and now are a little crazy. Which is fitting, considering my crazy theme!
Then: single mum, man-hater, battling postnatal depression, stress relating to the impending move, adjusting to life with a walker...
Now: single mum, man-hater, overcoming depression, job hunting stress, trying to decide whether to move or stay where I am, adjusting to life with a (somewhat) 'diagnosed' boy....

No wonder I'm crazy!! I need to stop putting myself in situations that cause so much stress! And maybe go get my hair dyed. My greys are showing.

Peace out.

- L. x

Job Interview.

Oh, yay. I do love me a good job interview!

But seriously, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to shine brighter than the sun come interview day??? My interview is tomorrow, so I still have a little time before the nerves kick in: this will more than likely occur at midnight tonight, for optimum effect.

I'm awesome. I graduated with a GPA of 3.3. Sure, that's not the greatest, but when you take into consideration that half of my first semester was spent battling glandular fever, thus giving me a GPA of 2.2 for that year.... I did GOOD. My transcript is more HD than anything else, I have a photographic memory, I'm reliable, hardworking and optimistic... I'm also a single mum, I live an hour train ride away, I'm frumpy and in desperate need of an eyebrow wax. But still, I'm amazing! I just need to remind myself of this.

Say it with me, crazies: I. AM. AMAZING! I. AM. A. WARRIOR! I. CAN. KICK. BUTT!

Meh. In less amusing news, I've spent half the weekend preparing for this interview, whilst the other half has been spent researching Aspergers. Have I mentioned I love researching things? Because I do. Just not medical things, apparently. So confusing. My brain can't make heads or tails of anything that I'm trying to retain, thus resulting in an entire waste of a weekend.
*sigh*

Life is great. I have a house, I have food, I have my health (to an extent - let us not go there!), and I actually manage to obtain interviews at prestigious law firms. More than I can say for many, I suppose.
(this was more for me than you.)

Peace out.

- L. x

The Impending Execution.

Time for me to give my opinion on the pending Bali Nine executions.

First, let me just say that I am not entirely FOR the death penalty in any circumstance. However, that is mostly because I lead a relatively cushy life here in Australia. 

As Australians, we are so used to our own problems and the ways they are dealt with, that we don't realise how bad it is in other countries. Sure, we see the news and read articles online, but how much do you really know about life in Indonesia?!
The drug problem over there is horrendous. I have no doubt that there are corrupt people over there who want death penalty dished out for purely sadistic purposes, but a lot of people see it as a last ditch attempt to try and save their kids. Their families. Their country. 

Nobody should die, I get it. But these guys knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they plotted to smuggle 8kg of heroine from Indonesia to Australia. You cannot spontaneously decide to smuggle such a massive amount of drugs without knowing the risks. No way. And the lives that would have been ruined, had that heroine made it into Australia.... Would you wish bad things upon smugglers if the drugs had made it into the country, only to be cut with something dirty that resulted in the death of someone you love?? Because that is a very real risk when dealing with drugs. 

I believe the Bali Nine knew the risks and consequences of their actions, and it is for this reason that I'm not against the death penalty. I'm not entirely for it either, but definitely not against it. 

....oh yay, a mini essay. Who needs to study!? :)

Peace out.

- L. x

I Think I Just.... [Southwest Sweet Potatoes w/ Grilled Chicken]

No wait, I KNOW I just had an orgasm in my mouth.

Oh, my god.

This is so good. I haven't actually made it yet, but just looking at it... Pwoar.

Anyway, here's the recipe. I'm mostly putting it here so I can find it later. I'm in a bit of a menu planning shakeup crazy funk thing right now. Much fun!

I will finish converting it to Australian later. ;)

South West Stuffed Sweet Potatoes w/ Grilled Chicken

INGREDIENTS

• 1kg chicken breasts (measured raw)
• 3 large sweet potatoes
• 1 cup black beans (optional)
• 1 cup broccoli
• 1 cup corn
• 2 vine tomatoes
• 2/3 capsicum
• 3 green onions
• 1 zucchini
• 5 tbsp mozzarella (optional)
• Seasonings such as cayenne, paprika, sea salt, pepper, southwest chipotle....

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 210.
2. Wrap sweet potatoes in aluminum foil and bake until firm but soft, about 45-50 minutes.
3. Season chicken with Mrs. Dash Southwest Chipotle, cayenne, paprika, and dash of sea salt, and cook in a nonstick frying pan. Set aside.
4. Chop vegetables into small pieces.
5. Saute garlic and corn in a nonstick skillet using spray coconut oil. Once corn is seared, toss in vegetables and black beans.
6. Slice sweet potatoes in half and carve out part of the insides. Set carved-out portions aside to be used later.
7. Spray sweet potato halves with coconut oil, then place back in oven for 5 minutes.
8. Fill sweet potatoes with vegetable mixture, then top with 1 tbsp mozzarella.
9. Bake for another 8 minutes at 210.
10. Serve chicken breasts on the side with stuffed sweet potatoes.

Tip: So as not to waste food, take the leftover sweet potato, mash it up, and add 1/3 cup Greek yogurt, 1 tbsp cinnamon, and 1 tbsp raw honey or 3 packets of natural sweetener. Enjoy this sweet potato mash hot or cold. For breakfast, heat it up and sprinkle with a little bit of granola and fresh blueberries.

Peace out.

- L. x

Age Discrimination.

Yes, ladies and gents, I am about to vent about age discrimination in the twenty-first century.

You would think that applying for work in the legal field would mean there is less discrimination, as they know these laws are enforced. WRONG. I am quickly discovering that the legal industry is one of the worst when it comes to discrimination, as they know HOW to evade the law. This realisation is slowly shattering my faith in humanity; or at least my faith in Australia's legal profession.

Nevermind the other aspects of myself that I could be discriminated against - namely the fact that I am female, or that I am a parent (and a single parent at that!). Oh no, let us focus on this one aspect, as it is the one that is hard to hide from potential employers. YES, I did just say "hide from potential employers", because let's face it, I have to hide the fact that I am doing an amazing job raising Spawn on my own. Lest nobody hire me because I spend my 'free time' raising a human being.

I digress. The relevant subsections of s.3 of the Age Discrimination Act 2004 (Cth)* state the following:
The objects of this Act are:

(a)  to eliminate, as far as possible, discrimination against persons on the ground of age in the areas of work, education, access to premises, the provision of goods, services and facilities, accommodation, the disposal of land, the administration of Commonwealth laws and programs and requests for information; and

(d)  to promote recognition and acceptance within the community of the principle that people of all ages have the same fundamental rights; and

(e)  to respond to demographic change by:

   (i)  removing barriers to older people participating in society, particularly in the workforce; and

   (ii) changing negative stereotypes about older people;

Bearing in mind the international commitment to eliminate age discrimination reflected in the Political Declaration adopted in Madrid, Spain on 12 April 2002 by the Second World Assembly on Ageing.

And I KNOW this is happening to me. I know, because I was told that I would more than likely be unsuccessful at one particular interview, once she discovered what year I finished high school. Like, I knew she was fishing for my age without coming out and asking me directly how old I am, because my date of birth is irrelevant, but I honestly was not expecting to have that response straight to my face. It angered me so badly. Like, you cannot even begin to fathom the anger that flowed through my veins as I watched the expression on her face transform from pleasant to 'I need to hurry up and get this lady out of my office - a 29 year old trying to start a new career path is a waste of my time'. That is the EXACT look that came upon her face. Disgusting. I did think of later sending her an email quoting the Act, but thought better of it. I'm better than her - I'm better than all of those stinking discriminating bastards.

And that, people, is how you own the shit out of your circumstances. You OWN your flaws right alongside your strengths. Sure, I'm turning 30 this year. But I also won't be running off to take maternity leave in a couple of years. I won't be changing career paths, because this will be my career until I retire. I won't react childishly to certain things, because I've lived longer than some fresh out of school kid. I will handle pressure and bad days better than a teenager, because I put things into perspective and know that it's easier to just GET. IT. DONE. But whatever, their loss. Someone will hire me. And they won't regret it, because I am amazing, and I refuse to let this discriminative bullshit get me down. I will one day look down at those pathetic people and smile - smile because I won.

Peace out.

- L. x

**The Act can be found here.

Chicken Parma Balls

I LOVE these! They're so simple and affordable, yet so yummy! This recipe was originally a "4 Ingredients" recipe, however I have tweaked it a little to suit our tastes.

INGREDIENTS:
500g chicken mince (or turkey!)
1/2 cup breadcrumbs (I use GF crumbs)
1 spring onion, finely sliced
1 tbspn (approx) mixed herbs
salt & pepper, to taste
2/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1/3 cup pizza sauce 

METHOD:
Preheat oven to 180° and line a tray with baking paper.
Combine the mince, breadcrumbs, spring onion, herbs, salt & pepper, and half the cheese in a bowl. Mix together using your hands, until well combined.
Put the sauce into a small bowl, and the remaining cheese into another bowl.
Roll the mixture into meatballs (I like them to be 'two-bite-size', but do them whatever size - you may need to adjust cooking time accordingly) then dip them into the sauce and place on tray, sauce side up. Repeat until mixture is all rolled, then put in oven for 10 minutes.
Remove from oven, dip in sauce again, but this time dip in the cheese after dipping in the sauce. Bake for a further 5 minutes, or until cheese is golden, "having become one with the sensuously delicious balls"**.

I serve these with anything - salad, vegetables, you name it! They're also great in the kids lunchboxes the next day!

Enjoy!

- L. x

**This description is one the 4 Ingredients author used, but I had to "borrow" it! It's too good! ;)

You Have Failed This Consumer!

Samsung, you've done it again.

Well, almost.... Okay, you COULD have done it again. But then you took away the removable battery and micro SD slot. So now, the new S6 is just a fancy phone. Just like the iPhone. NO DEAL, Samsung. NO DEAL.

Have you seen the fancy new video announcing the details of Samsung's latest creation?? It's right here. I'm so gutted. I currently have the Samsung Note 3, which I've had since it was first released almost 18 months ago. So obviously, I'm about due for a new phone. Now I don't know what to get. I like the removable battery thing!! And I LOVEEEEEEE the SD slot!!! It's added security, which is great considering my phone is my life, my camera, my everything. I break my phone, I lose everything............well I would, if I didn't have an SD card saving my arse. ;)

Hmph. Such a first world problem, for sure, but a real problem nonetheless. So, help a girl out. What phone should I get? Added bonus if it comes with a stylus!
I'm thinking I should just wait for the Note 5, and hope Samsung reverts back to the way Samsung lovers want things. Not the way Apple lovers love their iPhones. We get android phones because we DON'T want iPhones, after all.

Peace out, crazies.

- L. x

The pretty phone in question - the Samsung Galaxy S6.